


It Is Okay

by FairyNiamh



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types
Genre: Breaking the Fourth Wall, Gen, Insanity, Masturbation, Merry Month of Masturbation Challenge 2017, Not Beta Read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-19
Updated: 2017-05-19
Packaged: 2018-11-02 20:09:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 245
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10951827
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FairyNiamh/pseuds/FairyNiamh
Summary: Wade being himself.





	It Is Okay

**Author's Note:**

> @.@

Wade Wilson was not a pervert. 

"What a pile of shit. One line in and I already have to correct you and tell you that I _am_ a pervert. Always have been, always will be."

Sorry. Wade Wilson was a pervert, but he wasn't a normal pervert.

"Nice."

He had no limits when it came to sex. Male, female, animals, stuffed toys... the list was limitless.

"I am strictly a pitcher. Just ask Spidey and I have limits. Granted that they are few and far between, but I have them. For instance, I won't fuck ugly. Not even for charity. Al, I love her, but I genuinely see her as my brother. No small animals (I may not be a hero, but I have a few morals), no animal that could kill me. No, wait. I probably would. At least for shits and giggles. Besides, sex is sex. Remember, I am pansexual."

Because he was a raging douche nozzle, he couldn't find anything outside of his right hand...

"And my left hand. I bet if I do some yoga and stretches I could try auto fellatio. Who better to give me good head, than myself?"

"Fuck you, write your own damned story, you self-important California Raisin Wannabe!"

"Well, she took that rather personal. All I was trying to get across the point that there is no shame in masturbation. In the words of Woody Allen, _Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someone I love_."

~Fin~


End file.
